The Power of Support

How to navigate independence and healthy support networks for success

I used to be proud of how independent and self-sufficient I was. It seemed like a badge of honour. 

It took me years to realise there were many possible limitations in this. Somewhere along the line, I mistook independence for strength and overlooked the power of synergy and collaboration. 

The truth is that none of us creates in isolation – to think that we are islands is simply delusional and, in many respects, arrogant. Acknowledging this doesn’t diminish our abilities; it enhances them. 

Here’s how I’ve come to approach the idea of support:

1. Soften your edges, and take a moment to appreciate the people around you who already support and contribute to your endeavours.

2. Have a think about your aspirations, and what support you will need to achieve these. It might be physical help (at home or at work). It might be professional expertise. It might be domestic help. It might be therapy, counselling, or specialist support. It might be technical. It might be a coach or manager to check in with. You don’t have to do it alone – and in fact, getting support might be exactly what you need to free yourself up to do great things.
   
3. Once you identify the support that you need, feel a little further to what you might like. In my experience, we seek the least support, but I’m encouraging you to let it be easy and seek more.
   
4. Find the right support for the right things. If you don’t identify your support network in advance, then you will often, out of reaction, reach for the wrong people for the wrong things. This sets you both up to fail: they’ll fail you and you’ll be let down. 

For example, your best friend may have the right intentions, but might not be the right person for business advice. Your parents or partner may not be the right person for support with work stress and overwhelm. They sometimes care too much, and want to protect you and nurture you first. Your stress might affect them too. Your boss may not be the best person for professional advice; as the authority figure, with a workplace agenda, they’ll have their biases. 

Be discerning who you reach for and for what reason. You want experts in place to turn to when you need it.

– Zoe Dryden

5. Prepare support relationships in advance. When you desperately need help, it is great to already have this in place and within reach. I encourage you to develop healthy support networks well in advance of the clear identification of any need. These support networks reduce the feelings of loneliness and the burden that leadership responsibility can feel like in challenging times because, at the end of the day, you’re not actually doing it solo.  

Remember, leadership doesn’t have to be a solitary journey. By cultivating healthy support networks, you can share the load and amplify your impact. After all, success is sweeter when it’s shared.